For as long as I can remember, I have always said that I wanted to have 3 children. I grew up in a family of 4, but I've always wanted a big family of my own. I thought it would be nice to have 2 girls and a boy. I have a younger brother, but no sisters. Growing up, and even now sometimes, I wish I had a sister. I mean, I wouldn't change my brother for the world, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a sister. So that's what I've always wanted for my own children.
The plan was, I'd graduate high school, go to college (in the mean time find a boyfriend), graduate college, get married, have babies, and...voila! I would have completed my life's goals. Ha! It obviously didn't go as planned. I never went to college, therefore I didn't graduate college either. I also ended up having a baby before I got married, and gained a stepdaughter in the process. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any regrets, and I'm happy with the way things have worked out.
Aiden is nearly 16 months old, and Jenny is already 4 years old! It's true what they say, time flies when you're having fun! The past 3 years of my life seem as if they have flown by! Especially in the last year and a half. Before I know it, Jenny will be 5 and in kindergarten, and Aiden will be 2! Lately I been thinking a lot about how grown up they are both getting, and I think Jaime has been thinking a lot about it too. He's even mentioned how big Aiden is getting a couple times today, and he's always saying how he can't believe Jenny is already in Pre-K!
All of my thinking about how grown up they are getting, got me thinking about something else....how much I miss being pregnant! Trust me, I don't miss any of the swollen feet, back aches, weight gain, or many other things about it! Luckily, I didn't have any morning sickness when I was pregnant with Aiden, so I can't complain about that. However, I do miss just knowing that I'm pregnant. Knowing that I am carrying a life inside of me. Knowing that I am never alone, even when I am the only person at home. Going to doctor's appointments and seeing Aiden on the sonagram or listening to his heart beat. Being able to feel Aiden move around and kick. Being able to eat whatever I want, and not worry about if it makes me fat cause I'm gonna get fat anyway. I miss all of these wonderful, wonderful things! They were all Blessings that I took for granted when I was pregnant with Aiden.
Sometimes I wish I could start over and be pregnant with Aiden again. I'd take more pictures, I'd keep a journal, I'd make a scrapbook, etc. etc. etc. One of the things I wanted to do most when I was pregnant, was have pictures taken me and my baby belly. I wanted to hire a professional photographer to take photographs of Jaime, Jenny, and I while I was pregnant. I always thought they would be great keepsakes, and look great in a baby book. So the next time I'm pregnant I'm going to try to do better, I'm going to try and treasure that time period more.
All that thinking caused me to really consider talking to Jaime about having another baby. I am still thinking of talking to him about it. I know what he's gonna say. He's gonna say that there are a lot of reasons why right now isn't the right time for us to have another baby. He's gonna say that we can't afford it, and that with him working two jobs now is not the right time. He's gonna remind me of my plans to lose weight. He's gonna try to talk me out of the idea. At least I think he will, I hope at least one of us is thinking rationally right now.
For some reason, no matter how many times I run the cons to having a baby right now through my head, I can't convince myself that it's not what I want. That's why I need to talk to Jaime about this. I know he'll make me see it clearly. Plus, even if I don't see it clearly, all he's gotta do is put his foot down. If Jaime says no baby right now, then it means no baby right now. How else am I gonna have another baby right now without his cooperation? Then again, don't answer that....ha!
So, that's what I'm gonna do tonight after Aiden goes to bed. I'm gonna sit Jaime down, and talk to him about this. I'm gonna explain to him exactly how I feel, and then laugh in agreement when he tells me how unrealistic I'm being. This is definitely something I need to talk to him about. Like I said before, this isn't something I can do on my own. =)
I thought I'd take this oppertunity to tell you a little bit about how the employment situation works around here. You see, I don't work. As you can tell from the title of my blog, I am a stay at home mom (SAHM). I love doing it, but believe me, this was not by choice.
Back in August, Jaime and I both worked for a breakfast restaurant called, International House Of Pancakes (IHOP). I was a served, and he cooked. Originally, we both were working day shift. However, after I came back from maternity leave, I started working night shift. This happened so that I could stay home with Aiden during the day, and Jaime could be with him at night. This meant that Aiden wouldn't have to stay with a babysitter or be put in a daycare. Plus, it wouldn't cost us nearly $200 a week!!
Initally it worked out well. However, once the diapers from our baby shower started running out, and Aiden required more and more formula, things got more difficult financially. The plan was that I would find another job and I would quit working at IHOP. It seemed like a good plan at first, but that also meant that I would have to either find another night shift job, or get a day shift job that would pay me enough so that we could afford daycare.
At that point, the plan changed. We would BOTH start looking for another job. We would both look for night shift jobs. If I found a job first, I would quit IHOP and begin work at the new job. If Jaime found a job first, I would quit IHOP and he would start working two jobs. I was not happy with the second option, but we had to do something. Unfortunetly, Jaime found a job first. He was going to be cooking at an Italian restaurant called Dominicks.
He worked at Dominicks from August 09` until March 2010. He left Dominicks because he found a new job, where he would be making $1.50 more an hour, and would be working more hours. The first part sounded great to me, but I wasn't so happy about the second part. I felt like working more hours would be too hard on him, seeing as how he already worked 12-14 hours a day. In his new job he would be working at a different restaurant, called Cheeky. Cheeky is a Mexican restaurant.
He has been working at Cheeky for about two weeks now. He seems to like it, but sometimes he doesn't get home until after 2am. I'm not happy about him coming home so late, but I feel like it's his decision to make. I'm just happy that we are able to pay our bills and afford a few extras. I do wish that he could spend more time with me and the kids, but if it weren't for him, we wouldn't be able to have kids.
I'm not gonna lie, it does tend to put a strain on our relationship at times. But one thing's for sure, Jaime and I have a very strong relationship. This is just a bump in the road for us in the grand scheme of things. One day, we will both be working day jobs and be able to afford to put Aiden in daycare. Then he and I, and our whole family, will be able to spend the time together that we love and deserve.
Last night I got something I've been needing for a very long time. Peace. Quiet. Relaxation. Time with Jaime. Time away from my kids. Yep, that's right, Jaime and I went out on a much needed date!
Now that we have children and a home, and Jaime has two jobs, we don't get a whole lot of time together. Especially just the two of us. There is always someone else invloved, the kids, friends, our roommate. It's a very rare occurance around here that Jaime and I have the house to ourselves, and can enjoy each other's company.
Last night, after we dropped Jenny off with her mom and Aiden off with his grandma, Jaime and I came back home to an empty house. There was absolutely no one here, and let me tell you, it was great!
We started the night off with a quiet dinner, just the two of us. I made 'American' style tacos. Personally, they are one of my favorite meals. Jaime likes them too, but since he is from Mexico, he says they aren't real tacos. I tell him to shut up and eat. He does what he is told. =) The funny thing is, that even as much as he trash talks my tacos, he eats at least 4 or 5! I'm not kidding when I say at least. Actually, last night it was more like 6 or 7. I guess he was hungry. And after he eats, he proceeds to tell me about how good they were and that he won't talk about my tacos that way again. But I know that it will happen again.
Anyhow, after dinner, like usual I started to clean up the kitchen. You see, I am a firm believer that if I cook, you clean. And if you cook, I'll clean. Jaime seems to disagree. He thinks that I should cook, and clean. Usually it turns into an argument, and it almost turned into one last night too. Until I walked into the living room, and saw him on the computer looking at movie times. He wanted us to go to the movies that night! Of course, I did the next logical thing. I stopped cleaning, and ran upstairs to get ready. Mostly because I needed to get ready, but partly because I knew Jaime wasn't just going to let the mess sit there - which meant he would clean it up.
Jaime and I can never agree on which movie to see. Never ever. So we always end up flipping a coin. He picked 'Shutter Island', and I picked 'Remember Me'. Coin flipped. I won! I love winning. Jaime is a sore loser, but he gets over it.
The movie was a great choice. Especially because it was a Sunday night at 9:00pm, and so we were the only ones in the theatre. I love being the only people in the theatre. You can talk loud, laugh loud, sit wherever you want, throw popcorn at the screen....just kidding about that last one.
Suprisingly though, it really gave Jaime and I time to just be us. The us before kids. The us before the responsibilities of a home and bills and mouths to feed. The us that used to have lots of fun together. The us that I wish we could be more often.
In those few minutes before the movie actually started we were able to get in a pretty deep conversation about things that we normally wouldn't talk about. Things that don't involve the stresses of life or kids. We laughed, we talked, we even flirted. Overall it was a great night.
I didn't even care that the movie wasn't the great. I didn't even seem to notice that Robert Pattinson was on screen right in front of me. All I was paying attention to was Jaime, and the great evening we were having together. I guess that's what marriage is all about when you have kids. Finding the time to go out on dates is important for a marriage. Especially one like ours, where we spend a lot of time apart - Jaime at work and me with the kids. Sometimes in a marriage it is very easy to forget about who you were before you had kids, and before the stresses of life. But sometimes in those few quiet minutes alone, you can really begin to see who you used to be together. And more importantly, learn that you really haven't changed at all.
Starting today, I am going to start holding prayer requests here every Sunday. It will be a place for you all to post any prayer requests you may have, and also for me to tell you about mine.
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29-11
Here is my prayer request this week....
Please pray for a good friend of mine who has cancer. She has recently lost the use of her legs, and has been given a very grim diagnoses. Bascially, she is down to her last option of chemo. If it works, and shrinks the tumor, she may have 12-18 months to live. If it doesn't work, or makes her too sick, she may only have 2-4 months.
Please pray for her, her name is Lee. I've known her for several years, and I met her when I was working at IHOP. She was my co-worker. She has also been like a mother to David, my roommate. David is like family to us in our house, and because of him, so is Lee. So please keep her in your prayers. We are all just waiting for God's Plan for her to unfold. I'm hoping and praying for a miracle.
God Bless you all, I will pray for you! Just post your requests in the comments. Thanks so much!
Alright, I'll say it...I am 'Twilight' obsessed! I've read all four books, I own the first movie, and I went to see the second one on opening night! And for those of you who don't know...the second movie, New Moon, comes out on DVD TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT!
I know, I know,... I agree that I am a little too old to be so excited about a stupid movie. Right?...No. You're wrong. I don't care what anyone says, you're never too old to be obsessed with Robert Pattinson (Edward).
Trust me, I don't usually get this excited about a movie. A book? Yes. I will get this excited about a book. But a movie? Not very often. So when I am this excited about a movie coming out, you better move outta` my way! Oh, and let me borrow $20 bucks or so, so that I can purchase said movie (I'm unemployed, remember?) .
Back to my point....I was just wondering if any of you have read the books, or seen the movies? And if you have, what do you think of them? Are you obsessed like me? Or do you absolutely hate them? By the way, if you hate them, then we may have to agree to disagree. Cause like I said, I'm obsessed!
Happy Friday! I hope you are all having a great Friday morning so far! =) Friday is usually a pretty busy day around here. I try to get the house all cleaned up and ready for the weekend. How do you spend your Friday's? Happy Friday Follow everyone!
For any of you who know me personally, you will know that I have always struggled with my weight. Even as a child, I have always been overweight. I've also always had very low self-esteem my entire life, or at least for as long as I can remember. I've always been very insecure about the way I look, especially my weight. Honestly, there isn't really anything that I do like about myself physically. That's the way I've always been, and up until now I have always been ok with being unhappy with myself. Or at least I have been telling myself that I'm ok with it, but I don't think it's possible to be happy about disliking yourself. It couldn't be healthy for me, or for my kids to feel that way.
Lately I've also been really thinking about the way my eating habits and my lack of exercise are effecting my children and their lives. I am showing and teaching them that it is ok for someone to eat unhealthy (almost all the time), and to not exercise. My biggest downfall is probably that I don't hardly ever drink water. I'll be honest, just about the only time I EVER drink water is if I am either taking a medication with it, or if we are out of anything else to drink. Literally. I will choose to drink milk before I will choose water. Blogging about it is making my unhealthy lifestyle even more real to me right now.
In the past I have tried 'dieting', and I have even done pretty well at time times. But most of the time, I come up with an excuse as to why I can't heat healthy (I can't afford it, I don't know how to cook like that, etc.) and as to why I can't excercise (I don't have the time, What am I going to do with Aiden?, etc.). So, this time, I'm not going to go on any 'diet', I'm not going to stress about calorie counting, I'm not going to worry about how many calories I burn in a day.
But what I am going to do is make a promise. A promise to myself, and to my children. And that promise is that I am going to be healthier. I am going to do my best to eat healthier, and exercise more. I can't say that I am going to completely cut everything unhealthy out of my diet, and there may be days when I don't exercise. But I'm not going to stress myelf out about it. In the past when I've 'dieted', I've always stressed out about it. Which has always led to me giving up and just returning to my normal lifestyle. So I'm not even going to call this change in my life a 'diet'. I am going to call it my wellness plan. Dieting makes it sound too much like it's all about losing weight, but for me it's more than that. I'm just trying to be healthy. It doesn't matter how much weight I lose (even though I'm sure I will lose weight), all that matters is that I am healthy, and that I am teaching my kids to be healthy too.
So, please wish me luck! I know I will need it, as I am hoping this will be life changing for me and my family. I am interested in hearing any suggestions that you all may have for me, so please comment your suggestions! Thanks so much. I am going to try to post weekly updates of my plan and how it is progressing. So stay tuned. =)
Happy St. Patricks Day everyone! I hope you are all wearing green today! Honestly, I'm still in pajamas. And no, they aren't green. Luckily though, it's just Aiden and I at home right now. Trust me, he can pinch (hard too!), but he's still too little to know that he should be pinching me right now. =)
So today I was reading Bizzi Mommi's Blog, and was reading her post about The Sunshine Award. Basically, she was telling her story about receiving the award. The whole time I was reading I kept thinking about how nice it would be to have a blog worthy of receiving an award. THEN I get to the bottom of the first paragraph of her post, and GUESS WHAT?!? She passed the award on to me!
Let me just say that I never expected to get an award for this blog in a million years! I do this more as a hobby that I do for anything else. But of course, it is always nice to be recognized and rewarded at the same time. =)
Here are the rules for accepting this award.....
Put the logo on your blog or within your post.
Pass the award onto 12 bloggers.
Link to the nominees within the post.
Let them know they received this award by commenting on their post.
Share the love & link to the person from whom you received this award.
Jenny is 4 years old. Right now she enjoys going to school, watching Spongebob Squarepants, and family game nights! She is a very helpful, and is a great big sister! She is always trying to watch out for Aiden and take care of him. She is a very smart little girl!
Aiden turned 1 on November 29, 2009. His favorite things to do include: climbing, dancing, playing with his big sister, and being outside! He is always trying to make everyone laugh, and he's very sneaky!